Some say to unlock him you have to stroke his face like this [Clarkson strokes face of audience member, a reference to the method required to switch an Apple iPhone on] and that if he was divorcing Paul McCartney he would keep his whining mouth shut [the audience applauds wildly and Jeremy pauses for a short moment]… [laughing]….. all we know is, he’s called The Stig!

Oh yes!

The next day she went on US TV and publicly slagged off Paul McCartney over their divorce.

Here’s some advice, put more succinctly than I could manage by Helen, for Ms Mills-McCartney :

“If you don’t like the media, just fuck off!”

Indeed…

Of most interest to me are these two lines :

From the BBC Website – “Katie always loved the name Princess, but everyone thought it was a bit over the top. I loved it too but I wanted to name her after both our mums.”

From Peter’s Website – “Peter and Katie have decided to name their new baby daughter TIAAMII. It is pronounced tee-ah-me and is taken from both their mum’s names.”

I did try and look on Katie’s website for her official comment but you have to register to read important news and I’m not that much of a celebrity-whore. Honest.

Still, I spy a bit of conflict here. I wonder if there’ll be calling it different names on their TV program!

I like The Feeling. I like Lily Allen. I even like Simon Cowell. What are they doing being involved?

She died nearly ten years ago and was hardly an angel when she was alive… When the vacuuming stops I shall go back to feeling like I’m drowning in a sea of mushed Daily Expresses.

Please make it stop…